I pictured life differently at this age. I thought I would have the husband, the house and the kid, but it didn’t go as planned. The future husband ended up being someone else’s husband, the house is actually an apartment and there’s no kid, only a kitten. That’s ok, a lot of my friends pretend they’re happy for likes, when they are miserable. Kim’s husband cheats on her, then again he’s in the military🙄 so that’s common. How do I know? I was in the service too. Tanya’s kid hates her😂, but that’s also common for teenagers. I think it’s payback because she was a bitch in high school.😒 I had my share of jobs, trying to make ends meet and still end up broke, but i’d rather be broke and happy than miserable and rich.
I worked as a waitress in high school at an Alzheimer’s home. It was both interesting and sad. I would have to introduce myself to the same women everyday, and of course some would forget their orders so I would have to send it back. My favorite resident was a WW2 vet however I heard he was a Nazi, it was hard to believe because he was so sweet, but I was never there for his outburst. All I know is nobody better not put me in one of those homes. I want to be that old, but attractive old lady that thinks she’s young. I also tried working at Nordstroms during their holiday season, but sucked so bad at cashiering and stock😬 they let me go before winter break was up😐. Then I was a vendor at Costco trying to sell energy drinks that were supposed to be good for you🤨, but that didn’t last, I hated sales anyways. I even avoid buying cars because I can’t stand car salesmen🙄. Then I finally found a job I actually liked in childcare working with elementary kids. I kept it for 7 years before I decided to join the service. The only thing I hated about it was the low pay and having to deal with some kids who didn’t listen……..
@ work heading in from outside
ME: 
MICHAEL: Here
ME: Josh?
JOSH: Here
ME: Nicole?
NICOLE: Here
ME: Lucas?
LUCAS
ME: 
LUCAS
ME: 
LUCAS
ME:
LUCAS: (turns around and smiles
ME:
And not to mention I didn’t know pepperoni was pork and gave it to a kid who was Muslim.🤦🏽♀️What was worse was the mom said she couldn’t pray because she was on her period? But her God, I’m guessing Allah? would forgive me…..I been praying ever since 😐
I stayed in service for 7 years and still came out with no husband, no kid, not even a divorce, I was 31. I had some good times though, I was seeing a couple Airborne guys😏 not at the same time, even though having a threesome before I hit 30 was on my bucket list. Anyways I stopped seeing them because for some reason they both liked using the “back door” too much. I like being single in the “dirty” thirties even if it’s pointless hookups, talking to men who end up being too young, or too old for me, and worried about my eggs dying.
I swear I was just fucking a gay guy💁🏽♀️, who was on the “DL” or whatever. He asked me if I could give him a rim job? I know that doesn’t mean his gay🙄, but still I didn’t like how he moaned🤨, sounded like a female😐. I asked him if he was gay, he just laughed and said he wasn’t, but it wasnt convincing enough😑. I know this is going to sound weird, but even when he was on top he moved like a girl. But what pissed me off the most was the fact he was narcissistic and made everything about him. You could ask how nice the weather was🙂 and next thing you know his saying “people don’t understand me and what I’ve been through.”😒 Even though he has told me 100 times his sob story🙄. He always played the victim. It was someone else’s fault, the roommate, the boss, whoever. Even when I helped him with resume and finding jobs and a place to live he would rather sit in his car and get high. Not just narcissistic, but naive. He tried to convince me that one of the biggest pyramid schemes out there wasn’t a scheme. Then tried to live off me cause he ended up homeless and didn’t wanna work. I had to kick his ass to the curb, because TLC taught me better than that. 😌
The only good thing I got going is that I look younger than 30, my hairdresser thought I was 18🤣. And sometimes I still get dirty looks from bartenders when they ask for my ID, because I wasn’t pronouncing “amaretto sour” right.
“Can I see your ID?”👩🏼 she said with a smirk
“Of course”😄 then I watched as the smirk went away, as she made my drink with frustration. One time when I was 21 I went to 7/11 and the cashier almost called the cops👮 until I showed my ID.
“Wow…” he said as he put down the phone and picked up my ID.
“Hahaha I get that alot” It was my fault though, I came in wearing pigtails, no makeup and overalls. I always got made fun of for not looking my age, my friends always said you’ll take it as a compliment when you’re older, and I do. I still get high school and college boys hitting on me. Makes me feel weird, since some are younger than my brother who’s 23. Some 19 yr old white boy👨🏻🦱 came into Ross hitting on me. 🤨
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WHITE BOY: DAMN GIRL! Are you my appendix? cause I don’t know how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out
ME: (WTF??
WHITE BOY: Twenty
ME: How old do you think I am?
WHITE BOY:
ME: Thanks
WHITE BOY: That aint a problem
ME: 
WHITE BOY:
Even though his line was corny as hell
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Another incident at Walmart.
(Cashier makes me move from self check to his line because I had too many items
Cashier: I noticed you have a tattoo on your back
Me: 
Cashier: Really what are they?
Me: 
Cashier: What about piercings?
Me: 
Cashier: Are you single?
Me: 
Cashier:
Me: You know I’m actually older than I look.
Cashier: You mean you’re not 22?
Me: Naw lol I’m actually 32 in a few days
Cashier: 
Me: 
(writes something down)
Well here’s my snap chat
If you’ve seen the office, I’m like a mix between Michael, Dwight and Jim…..
Me: 
********************************
Even the kids at work.
ME: Ok kids let’s head back to the cafeteria
Lil white boy
ME: What teenager??
Lil white boy
ME:
Black kid
Lil white boy
ME:
But what I learned so far in life is I should have laid off the four locos😅, MD 20/20 and the weed. I should have gone after the guy I liked😥 even though I was too young and was told to focus on my job and education. That is important as well, but the older you get, you realize love is hard to find💔 so go for it. They will say you have plenty of time to date guys, but not if you already met the right one, then you don’t want anyone else. Nowadays I do what I want regardless of what people say and I love that the older we get the more we don’t care what people think. I like seeing my friends and family happy or making them happy when they feel like things aren’t the way it should be, we all think like that at some point in our lives. But if you have someone to love then you already accomplish what everybody else is trying to achieve, no matter what they say or how rich they are. So cheers to the “dirty” thirties🥂 regardless if your married, divorced, still looking for the wife, husband, or the dream job ❤